


Yearning

by LittleSwallow (Hobbity)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Clueless Kili, Fluff, Jealous Fíli, M/M, Rebuilding Erebor, Who I swear is not a bitch, female oc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:34:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24442171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbity/pseuds/LittleSwallow
Summary: Life in Erebor after the battle could be good for Fíli - if Kíli was not the biggest flirt in Erebor and if he was not flirting with the most suitable dwarrowdam in Erebor.
Relationships: Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	Yearning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MarigoldVance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarigoldVance/gifts).



> MariGoldVance won a prize at the GatheringFiKi raffle! Because I am slightly rusty and because quarantine turns out to be not the ideal environment to fire up those writing engines again, it took me a bit longer.  
> Anyway, the request was "FiKi? maybe like a subtly possessive (yet adorably so) Fee getting quietly rage-jealous as one of Kee's suitors catches their mother's eye and tries to set them up?"  
> I hope this does not disappoint.

18 months after the battle, Erebor still bore the marks of Smaug’s destruction. The land around them still lay fallow. Much of the treasure was spent on acquiring food, but the feasts in the Blue Mountains had been much richer than what the cooks could serve here.

Still, in those months Erebor had been repopulated. Dwarves came to settle in Erebor from all directions. Exiles and their families from the Blue Mountains and the Iron Hills. Exiles that had settled in towns of men. And adventurous merchants, entertainers, and diplomats from all the other clans.

They had cleaned out the old living quarters. Some had built small settlements scattered around the mountain - not all dwarves appreciated dwelling in caves.

Kíli, despite being of Durin’s folk, would have preferred a hut at the mountainside over the royal chambers deep in the mountain. 

The mountain, inside and outside, was full of life again. There were more and more official feasts, and even more unofficial ones. Some more and some less raucous. As soon as Kíli appeared, usually more.

Fíli sometimes tagged along to grace one tavern or another with his presence, but he soon avoided those trips. It always ended with him sitting at a table, nursing a pint and watching everyone throw themselves at Kíli.

It wasn’t even the fault of the dwarf maidens. And men. Really. Kíli just happened to be the biggest flirt both sides of the Misty Mountains.

It was just... Fíli wanted Kíli more for himself sometimes.

Fíli had made it very clear to both his uncle and his mother that he would not get married. Both had accepted his decision easily enough. It was common among dwarves, after all. Usually, kings got married and produced heirs but there was no law requiring them to do so. And Thorin must have realised that, having never married himself, he was in no position to order his heir to do so. Although Fíli, as well as the rest of the company, had a fairly good idea of why Bilbo had returned to the Lonely Mountain, precisely 8 months after he had left. The knowledge that Thorin’s heir had decided against marriage had become public knowledge over the years.

Kíli had made no such declaration, privately or publicly. And was thus the most sought after bachelor among dwarves far and wide. 

And Kíli, that idiot, did not realise. He had been made aware early on that his unusual features made him appealing only to humans - they had to fight off his suitors at every human tavern they frequented - so that he always thought that dwarves flirting with him were taking it in the same spirit as Kíli. A fun game of wits, but no exhibition of serious interest.

And thus he underrated the appeal not only of his heritage and future position but also his considerable charm that had many a dwarf attracted to him despite his skinny long limbs and sparse beard. In Fíli’s eyes, the just accentuated the uniqueness that made Kíli so beautiful.

~*~

Fíli felt like he was barely seeing his little brother anymore. Between meetings, hands-on work in restoring the glory of Erebor, more meetings, sword training and social engagements there was little private time, as it was. And Kíli elected too often to spend it outside the mountains, visiting the elves and making friends with the dwarves out there.

Thanks to Kíli, for the first time ever, there was a small elvish settlement under the protection of Erebor. Tauriel lived there, along with Legolas and a handful of guards who were loyal to them. Tauriel and Kíli had remained friends but decided that their little infatuation with each other had been silly.

One little budding dwarf village attracted Kíli in particular though, as Fíli learned, not from his brother but Balin. It was the settlement where merchants and delegations from the foreign houses dwelled - the Ironfists, the Blacklocks, the Stonefeet and even a couple of Stiffbeards. Some spoke some Westron, but they mainly communicated in Kuzhdul of course, though the accents were sometimes hard. 

Kíli seemed to spend more and more time there. And gradually, a dwarrowdam called Nalugwa came up in Kíli’s conversation. Nalugwa who had told him about a fruit called a banana. Which was fun shaped. Was that a proper topic? Nalugwa also told him about the Blacklock’s history, like their fight with the warlords loyal to Sauron.

She was, Dis soon found out, daughter of the ambassador the Blacklocks had sent. And the ambassador herself was the sister of the king. 

The Longbeards always had a distant relationship with the Blacklocks. Both clans insisted that their forebear had been the most eminent of the seven original dwarves and the first to wake up. And they lived on opposite ends of Middle Earth - the Blacklocks lived south of Harad. The arrival of an official ambassador to Erebor around 10 months after the battle had been a surprise, there had not been a Blacklock ambassador since some years before the fall of Moria.

Needless to say, Dis and Balin were extremely delighted that Kíli forged ties with the Blacklocks - contrary to Thorin, his sister and his cousin were eager to strengthen diplomatic ties with the other clans.

~*~

Dis used the spring solstice to host one of the semi-formal dinners she was famous for. The whole company was there in their most splendid tunics. Bilbo, at his spot on Thorin’s right side in a waistcoat embroidered with dragons. Bard was invited, along with his children and his new wife, the sister of one of the most eminent guild members of Rhûn. He was dressed more simply than any of the dwarves, the people of Dale were still recovering, but he and his children were wearing fine jewellery, and his wife was wearing one of the flowing, colourful dresses of her home complete with headwear made out of coins strung together. The dwarrowdams were all exclaiming over its splendour. 

Legolas and Tauriel were there, dressed in silvery robes. Thranduil himself was absent, but Thranduil had, for the first time, responded to their invitation to decline. A good sign.

The ambassador of the Ironfeet with his wife and three children in silk robes and the elaborate headdresses of the East. Stiffbeards in seal leather adorned with whalebone. Stonefeet in their flowy skirts men and women wore and showing off gems formed like the flowers of their home to the Southeast. 

And, next to Kíli, who himself had never looked better than now, wearing a dark blue tunic, proper braids and a golden tiara that complemented his dazzling smile, the Blacklocks. The Blacklocks in their robes with bold, colourful patterns and gold thread woven into their tightly curled beards and hair in braids more elaborate than those of the northern clans or dreadlocked. 

Nalugwa looked like their queen, her locks were piled up on her head in a bun almost as high as her head, shiny golden rings adorning it, and the most enormous gold bangles hung from her ears.

She had Kíli’s whole attention as Dis and Balin eagerly looked on. Fíli could not bear the sight of it. That was his little brother. His Kíli. Kíli was supposed to be at his side. Instead, Fíli was seated with Bard’s family, as he got on so well with them, his mother explained. And he did. He distracted himself by entertaining Bard’s children. 

Just as Bain was laughing at one of the stories of Fíli’s childhood, Kíli came hopping over with Nalugwa in tow.

“Hey.” He smiled brightly at Fíli and Bard’s family. “Do you mind if we join you? I heard Fíli entertaining you with entirely untrue stories of our childhood.”

Fíli rose to the bait and raised his eyebrows. “Untrue? I do not think so. I was just talking of the time I had to rescue you from a tree because a hamster startled you.”

“That never happened!”

“It did. So, Kíli and I were quite small and we had snuck out at night …”

“Which I am sure you did,” Nalugwa interrupted in prettily accented Westron, winking at Kíli.

“Well, yes, that part is true,” Kíli conceded, only to fix his big brother with a stare. “But I was never scared of a hamster.”

“It was big hamster and you were very small, so you thought it was a small orc. Of course at the time we had only ever heard stories of orcs and …”

Kíli kept contradicting him as Fíli told the story of their nightly adventure, where they disturbed a black bellied hamster who promptly bit Kíli’s hand. 

Bain followed it up with the story of his first time seeing a pike in one of the canals and running to his father to tell him Smaug had spawned. 

Nalugwa had a story of her own - of how she and her cousin barely escaped with their lives when they mistook the venomous night adder with the much more harmless egg eating snake and tried to chase it away from the hens with sticks and stones.

Fíli did not like the rapt attention Kíli gave the story nor the smug look on his mother’s face as she watched the pair.

At last, Kíli retired with the rest of the royal family to the royal chambers. A name that pretended to a former glory their living quarters barely deserved. While Thror, at the peak of Erebor’s power, had had four splendidly decorated chambers for himself and his wife, plus an additional 5 chambers for his three children, the current royal family (including Bilbo) made use of three of Thror’s chambers, while the other chambers were taken over by the rest of the company minus Bofur, Bifur and Bombur who had settled down with Bombur’s wife and his numerous offspring in an area close to the market. 

It meant that Fíli and Kíli shared a smallish room. Like in the Blue Mountains. And as they got ready for bed and Kíli chatted about the evening, Fíli could almost pretend they were back home. With no serious suitors for Kíli. 

Of course that illusion shattered as soon as Kíli brought up Nalugwa.

“She’s seen Minas Tirith, Fee! I wish we had ever made it that far. Instead of handing the merchants over to other guards in Edoras.”

Fíli smiled. “Yes. But you never know, Kee, uncle might send you on a diplomatic mission there.”

“Wouldn’t that be great, Fee!” Kíli clapped his hands. “I bet there are so many wines and tobaccos there that are never even traded with the North! We could spend all our evenings in taverns and …”

“We?”

“Yes?”

“Who’s we?”

Kíli blinked. “Us? You’d be there too, no?”

Fíli tried to hide his relief. Kíli’s “we” still included Fíli. But he had to shake his head. “I doubt Uncle would send both of us these days. The road is dangerous. And we are his heirs.”

“Well. Then I won’t go either.”

Fíli smiled broadly at him, happy enough not to press about Nalugwa. 

~*~

The next morning his mother practically dragged him to Thorin’s ante-chamber which functioned as his office.

“We need to talk.”

“Yes, amad? Thorin?”

Thorin rolled his eyes. “Your mother had put it in her head that you are to matchmake your brother with the daughter of the Blacklock’s ambassador.”

Dis nodded, tapping her brother’s desk. “It would be a splendid match, Thorin!”

“Men make splendid matches. Dwarves marry those they love.”

“There is no reason why Kíli should not fall in love with her. By the looks of him, he is halfway there.” She smiled and patted Fíli’s head. So yes, his mother was a bit taller than him. “I’ve only ever seen him this close to Fíli.”

“That is your wishful thinking.” Thorin grumbled. “But in order to keep the peace with your mother, Fíli, please go along with her plan.”

“Plan?”

Dis nodded. “Yes. Fíli, I want you to make sure to include Nalugwa in your plans with Kíli. And - as a treat to our foreign dignitaries - I was thinking that you and Kíli should organise a hunt. Like in the days of old.”

“A hunt? Amad, there is barely anything worth hunting around here, nothing that makes it worth a group trip, and Thranduil would come after us if we went to the Mirkwood.”

“Take them to the area North of Erebor. Our patrols have not encountered any orcs since the battle, but there appear to be stray packs of wargs. Threatening the few poor human villagers there and who may grow bolder and come to our villages if the next winter is hard.”

“Yes, amad.”

As expected, Kíli was all over the idea. Anything to get him out of the mountain and away from stiff protocols. To everyone’s surprise, and Dis’ disappointment, he enlisted the help of Tauriel and Legolas to plan it though, and not Nalugwa’s. 

Kíli might be emotional and playful, but as Fíli reminded her, he was actually a competent adult and two elves who were used to the terrain and had experience with wargs would certainly be a bigger help, than a dwarf from a different climate and a land far away, where Orcs were riding corrupted lions.

~*~

A week later, they were ready to set out from Erebor with all the pomp Thorin desired. The spring weather favoured them as they rode out through the main gate.

Fíli and Kíli were at the helm, Nalugwa as guest of honour just behind them. The group was bigger than initially expected. Legolas and Tauriel took some of the elvish guards with them. Dwalin had to take part in this as well, of course, Dori had forced Nori to “get him used more to be in noble company”, Gloin had sent his son Gimli, eminent families still eager to make up their lack of participation in the glorious battle sent some of their offspring, and five representatives from the other dwarf clans. And of course as both princes took part, Thorin also sent a number of guards. 

There was no proper road leading to the north of the mountain, just the path that the few remaining human farmers there took on their way to Dale. Fíli wondered how they had coped when Smaug had lived. Had they ventured as far as Laketown, sneaking past the dragon? Though Smaug would hardly have been interested in a few scraggly peasants.

Not long before nightfall, they had reached an acceptable camp site.

Despite the pomp they left with, their selection of tents was not very impressive. Balin and Ori had found an old tent used by Thror in a chamber not destroyed by Smaug. It was still dusty but it was big enough to house Fíli, Kíli, Dwalin, Nori and Gimli. Nalugwa, as propriety demanded, was in a tent next to theirs, one the Blacklocks had used on their journey from Gondor’s harbour in the South to Erebor. She invited most of the noble ladies who had come with them. There were three more small tents from the Ironhills, which showed the wear and tear from the hectic time after the battle.

The elves insisted on no tents for themselves. Of course.

Mindful of his mother’s instructions, Fíli sent Kíli and Nalugwa to check the area. Nalugwa had told them previously that she was also trained as a scout in the Savannah.

Of course, she was perfect for Kíli. Fíli gave up any pretence of being able to focus on the stupid tent he had not wanted to take with them in the first place and went to pretend he was overlooking dinner preparation.

About one hour later, dinner was ready and Kíli and Nalugwa returned with the news that they were not far away from a small cluster of hovels. Inhabited by very suspicious humans. 

Fíli sent Kíli back with Nalugwa to ask those farmers if they knew anything about the wargs that were supposed to roam the area and where a hunting party might spot them.

Kíli took a large quantity of their mead and ale supplies with him as gifts. And asked Fíli if he did not want to join them. As the heir to the king of the mountain. And all that.

It was not hard to persuade Fíli because he really had had enough of giving time alone to Kíli and Nalugwa.

Nalugwa excused herself as she could not understand a word of the Westron dialect the farmers spoke. All the better. Fíli finally got Kíli for himself for a short while.

Which Kíli spent praising Nalugwa’s scouting skills. And telling Fíli even more fun facts about the Blacklocks.

The farmers, once the shared mead had eased their suspicion, were delighted that somebody had come to take care of the warg threat.

One of them, the brother of the lady of the first hovel, had come from a village just a couple of hours further North. After a warg attack that had left most of his family dead, he and the five other survivors had come to this little place.

“Even when the dragon was here, it was not that bad,” he said. “We would sometimes hear the Orcs out West, but they never came close.”

So just before dawn the next morning, the dwarves broke camp and moved north. Kíli regaled Nalugwa with stories of the Blue Mountains and how the humans living there were in a similar situation to those here. Impoverished, uneducated, and forgotten.

Of course, there were humans in similar situations around the Blacklock mountains. Of course.

At that point, Fíli inserted himself in the conversation, his mother’s orders forgotten.

Shortly before noon, they set up another camp near the tiny settlement. The wargs had left a mess of the remains of the livestock these people had - chicken feathers everywhere, bones of sheep, and blood. Blood everywhere.

“Our ponies will be great bait,” Dwalin remarked to the princes while they were eating a surprisingly good lunch consisting of bread and cheese along with several fancy extras they had taken from Erebor.

Kíli nodded. “Yes.”

“So we better not let you two watch the ponies.” Dwalin winked.

“OY!” Kíli blew up his cheeks. 

Fíli retorted with his mouth full: “That was uncalled for, Dwalin.”

Nori, who was sitting on Dwalin’s other side, disagreed and soon the entire camp heard the story about how the trolls stole ponies right under the dwarf princes’ nose.

A little later, as the brothers worked on setting up the enclosure for the ponies, Kíli looked over to where Nalugwa was helping with getting the weapons ready.

“She’s quite beautiful,” Fíli remarked though he understood very little of dwarrowdam beauty. “Very stout. Fierce eyes.”

“Yes.” Kíli agreed easily.

“Not like Tauriel,” Fíli pushed. 

“No.” Kíli smiled at Tauriel who was just striding back into camp with Legolas. It had been the elves’ turn to scout. “She’s beautiful too, of course, but more in an elvish way.”

“Walking in starlight?” 

Kíli punched him in the shoulder. “Stop it, will you? First Dwalin with the bloody ponies, now you with my very short infatuation. It was that forest, okay? It drove us all a bit mad. I am very sorry, but you know you always came first.”

That made Fíli smile.

“Of course. And of course it did. So Nalugwa is more beautiful?”

“Can we stop talking about their beauty? Both are great ladies, very fierce, very strong willed. And our guests.”

“Very important guests.” Fíli looked over to the middle of the camp. Both Nalugwa and Tauriel were in discussion with Dwalin. “For our new connections.”

“Precisely. And we’re done here, let’s join them.” Kíli slung his arm over Fíli’s shoulder and steered him towards the group.

As soon as they approached, both Nalugwa and Tauriel showed off their weapons.

Two minutes later Dwalin found a pretext to go to the other side of the camp giving Fíli a pointed look. Clearly, he had been primed by Balin. Inwardly seething, Fíli engaged Tauriel in a conversation, asked her where Legolas was and then walked away with Tauriel in search of the Woodland prince before Kíli could react, and all the while trying to come up with a reason why he needed to talk to Legolas.

That did not mean Fíli did not look back. Kíli looked at him, his hazel eyes a bit confused, but then he smiled brightly and turned back to Nalugwa.

Good thing Fíli was a very mature dwarf. He focused on what Legolas and Tauriel had to say about the Warg traces they had spotted. It looked promising - the pack seemed to still be close by. It was agreed very quickly to put up only one tent, for those guests who were more particular about where they slept, and for the rest of them to sleep on the ground, partly hidden by the ponies. The wargs were to think, in as far as those monsters were able to, that the camp was neither guarded nor strong.

“Any signs that orcs are with them?” Fíli asked, just to make sure. He did not want any nasty surprises. Both elves shook their heads.

“We saw no signs.” Tauriel confirmed. “Of course, that does not mean much. There is certainly not an orc army camped out there, nothing organised. But some orcs might be with them, after running away from the battle.”

“We should be able to take them as well.” Fíli looked around. Their group was really a bit too big for this. The Woodland guards had already rolled out their mats, practically the same colour as the ground. 

It was almost dusk. Time for another quick snack and then for everyone to go into hiding. This was the time the wargs would stir.

Fíli had tried to get to his brother’s group, but he was intercepted by Dwalin and Gimli who wanted to talk strategy. So in the end, Fíli was with the group of the Longbeards, while Kíli was with the foreign dwarf clans.

Luckily, Fíli did not have much time to gaze longingly at his brother. First he had to shush Gimli every other minute, and not long after dusk, an hour at most, the ponies whinnied in fear. And then the dwarves could smell the foul stench of the beasts too.

Everything happened fast. Dwarves and elves jumped up, letting arrows fly at the wargs. There were around twenty of the beasts. Along with five small orcs.

Fíli fought alongside Gimli, and only caught a glimpse here and there of Kíli and Nalugwa, who complemented each other beautifully. Kíli taunted a warg, and Nalugwa jumped on it, stabbing its throat.

He felt a rush of air at his shoulder and jumped back, to see Dwalin’s axe embedded in the snout of a warg.

“Focus, lad!” Dwalin bellowed.

Fíli gave him a sharp nod, grabbed his twin swords more tightly again and jumped to Gimli’s aid, who was embroiled in a fight with an orc.

The fight was almost over.

The guards, who had hung in the back ready to intervene but instructed to let the hunting party have their fun, lit fires and torches.

Gimli had a cut on his arm near his shoulder, where the orc had almost gotten him. Legolas was inspecting it, to make sure the blade had not been poisoned, much to the proud dwarf boy’s annoyance.

Fíli looked for his brother, stepping over the dead bodies of orcs and wargs. 

He found his brother already back by the fire, chatting with Nalugwa as he helped her clean a small superficial wound she had sustained on her forearm.

The dwarrowdam spotted him first and waved him over with her good hand.

“Fíli. Are you all right?”

“Right as rain.” Fíli stepped closer, answering his brother’s beaming smile with his own. “Your wound is not too serious?”

“Oh, not at all, Kili just fusses.”

“We would not want this to get infected,” Kíli said cheerfully, tying the last knot. “That was fun, wasn’t it. Fíli? Nalugwa?”

“Oh yes.” She smiled at him, her white teeth glittering as they reflected the red light of the fire. Her smile was just as big and beautiful as Kíli’s.

“I am glad those poor humans can sleep more peacefully now,” Fíli added. “Given how barren this area is, I doubt there are more packs.”

“Not nearby,” Kíli agreed. “Though we should send scouts further out to make sure.”

Fíli nodded and excused himself, feeling awkward standing next to the others with his bloody swords in hand. 

He walked back to their little area of the camp in time to help Dwalin calm Gimli down who felt insulted at having been taken care of by an elf.

They were all tired, so they strongly admonished Gimli to settle down and get to sleep.

Fíli could not rest though until he felt Kíli settling in next to him on the cold ground. All always felt better with his brother next to him.

On the trek back, Fíli barely got to talk to his brother. Between trying to get Gimli to make friends with the elves (or at least behave civilised) and making sure all the other nobles did not feel neglected, he felt more exhausted than on the way there. Of course, many of the Longbeard dwarves had mainly joined for an opportunity to bond with the crown prince.

At least Dwalin was there to stop Nori from being very inappropriate when somebody made a fool of themselves by exaggerating their exploits against the wargs. Having helped to free a few human farmers from the warg scourge would hardly make up for their refusal to join the quest to reclaim Erebor. 

Back at the mountain, everyone went to their own places to freshen up, but the next day there was another banquet to celebrate the hunters. The time in between was the last time Fíli seemed to be able to spend significant time with his brother, though they were joined by Gimli who was more than excited to have been part of the hunting party.

~*~

And then life continued with Fíli being swamped with paperwork, and a trip to Dale and Laketown which Kíli could absolutely not join, according to their mother and Balin.

That evening Kíli started a fight with Fíli who, as Kíli claimed, had not done enough to get their mother to let them out.

Which would have been bad enough, had Kíli not added. “We could have taken Nalugwa to see more of the area.”

“Don’t be a child,” Fíli flung back at him. “Of what interest would the towns of humans be to Nalugwa anyway. You better show her more of Erebor and our history.”

“I will.” Kíli extinguished the candle next to his bed with more force than necessary. Conversation closed.

On his return Fíli learned that Kíli had taken his advice. Instead of meeting Nalugwa outside the mountain, in her settlement, Kíli had been showing her the mountain.

Which he heard from his mother at dinner. Kíli had not joined them, it was just Thorin, Dis, Bilbo, Balin and Dwalin. Because Kíli had taken Nalugwa to try some of the taverns serving Blue Mountain fare near the market square. 

Thorin added that he had taken another Blacklock lady, Tauriel, Legolas and Gimli along. 

By the time Kíli came back, Fíli was already in bed. Fíli was too exhausted for a conversation, so he should have been grateful that Kíli did not, as usual, immediately tried to learn everything that Fíli had done while they had been apart. But when Kíli just mumbled something that could be interpreted as “good night” and slipped under his covers without so much as approaching Fíli’s bed, Fíli found it hard to fall asleep.

The next morning, Kíli was still fast asleep when Fíli woke. It was tempting to wake his brother up, but then again, Kíli probably needed the sleep.

Fíli left in search of breakfast and Balin. As the government in Erebor had taken shape, Fíli had started to work closely with Balin, managing their diplomatic relations and negotiating deals. Balin focused on the other dwarf clans, while Fíli was focused on the men and elves. Kíli was working with Dwalin on building up their guard, army, and defenses. Kíli was in charge of the scouts of course.

They thus saw little of each other during their working hours most days, and Kíli seemed to develop the habit of not attending informal family meals.

Fíli stood at the sidelines, catching glimpses of his brother showing something to Nalugwa at a market stall, while he was passing through to negotiate more spaces for human traders. Or he stood at the main gate, in conversation with Dwalin and watched Kíli come in. Having no doubt visited Nalugwa.

The words to ask about her lay on Fíli’s tongue. But he found his tongue got tied these days when he was alone with his brother.

Kíli was not his usual self. Sure he went back to being chatty. But there was an underlying aggressiveness and distance that Fíli could not deal with.

They had always been so close. They had always meant to stay together. They had promised each other to always be at the other’s side.

So why could they not talk?

~*~

The end of May approached. The royal family was invited to Dale to celebrate Sigrid’s birthday and her coming of age.

Thorin and Dis both declined, as usual, but Fíli and Kíli both went. And of course Nalugwa. And Tauriel. And Legolas. And more people that Kíli was much more familiar with than Fíli, even though it should have been Fíli’s job to know them better.

Still, it was a merry party that arrived at Bard’s palace at noon. They were given time to prepare themselves.

Fíli was under strict instructions from his mother to give Kíli and Nalugwa every opportunity to be alone.

He took the first opportunity to detach Kíli from the others. As they were princes, Bard (or rather Sigrid, probably) had organised their own room. Kíli was about to say that they could join the other dwarves, but Fíli just thanked the steward, took Kíli’s elbow and followed the manservant.

It was a nice snug little room, at the back of the palace with a view over the market square - sounds of people haggling loudly (mostly dwarves) came throught the window. Kíli leant against the wall by the window, peering out.

“What is this with our room? And how much time do you think we need to prepare for a dinner?”

Fíli shook his head fondly. “Always longer than you think. It will take me a good while to get your hair in proper braids without amad or anyone else to help.”

“This is why we could have stayed with the others.”

“They will be busy with themselves.” Fíli cocked his head. “Is it so bad to be alone with me?”

“Don’t be silly.” Kíli walked over to the box that they had brought with them and pulled a richly embroidered blue tunic out. Dori had outdone himself. But Kíli just shook his head looking at it.

“I am going to look ridiculous.”

“No, you are going to look regal and bedazzle them all.”

Kíli shook his head, laughing. “Do I really need all those braids?”

“Yes you do.” It was always the same argument. And as always, Kíli sat down readily enough to let Fíli work on his hair.

It always had to be Fíli. Kíli was very conscious of having hair that was less thick and coarse than that of other dwarves and he tried to avoid even good natured teasing about it. Which Fíli would never do. He knew not to comment on something that touched one of Kíli’s nerves and he had also learned how to braid and style his brother's hair to make it look bigger than it was.

They walked into the grand hall of the palace with the other dwarves. Bard’s grand hall was in even worse shape than that of the dwarves. As a ruler, he placed little importance to restoring the palace compared to restoring houses for citizens. Thus one wall was missing, but the rubble had been cleared away and the dance floor as well as the musicians were under a faded baldachin in the yard to make it look a bit more intentional.

Kíli was on fire. Not only did he dance several times with Nalugwa, he also lavished his attentions on Bard’s niece-in-law from Rhûn. For a human she seemed rather small and she also admired Kíli more than what was seemly.

Fíli, on the other hand, felt his smile slipping several times that night as he made polite small talk.

The birthday girl herself chided him as they were dancing together, though in good nature. After that he pulled himself together. And suggested to Sigrid that they go and join her stepmother’s niece who just happened to talk to Kíli.

He then whisked his brother away to introduce him to several dignitaries. 

The dwarf company left around midnight, as they had decided to not spend the night in Dale. Bard had offered to procure rooms for them, but knowing the state the palace was in and how many human dignitaries Bard already had to find suitable rooms in the palace and city for, they had declined.

The dwarf princes were riding next to each other on ponies, while Nalugwa, the elves and some others were in coaches.

At first, Kíli had been riding next to the coach, but Fíli had ridden up to him to tell him to fall back to make it easier for the guards to do their job.

They rode in silence for all of five minutes before Kíli burst out.

“Right, Fee, enough is enough. What have I done to you? Why have you been in such a foul mood?”

Fíli focused on the road, until Kíli poked him in the side with his quiver. He turned to glare at Kíli while his pony trotted towards its stable without the need for much guidance.

“I really don’t like the idea of you marrying Nalugwa.”

“Me - what?”

Before Fíli could answer, Kíli cursed under his breath.

“I knew it”, he ground out, clearly making an effort not to yell at Fíli. 

“You - knew what?”

“Do you think I’m dense? - Don’t answer that - I bloody well know what Amad and Balin are up to. And Dwalin. I just cannot believe you were part of it.”

“I wasn’t,” Fíli protested and took a deep breath. “It’s. It’s just. You’re spending a lot of time with her. And she’s a good match. Mum - and Balin - just thought … it would be good. For everyone. If you married her. That is.”

“And you?” Kíli’s voice still held too much suppressed anger. “You pushed me towards her as well. At the hunt. You were not in my group. And then you were never there, always working, working, working. How often did I ask you to join me, to come outside? You always had an excuse. And then you did not want me to come with you to Laketown … and …”

“You wanted Nalugwa to go there as well! And at the hunt, you were the one who went with her!”

“We’re friends!!! And she could be your friend too!!! If you would even remember what that word means!”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You forgot what fun even means! You’re always working these days. In the Blue Mountains you’d sneak off with me and Gimli often enough, or we would spend time with Ori just talking about stuff without, you know, a real purpose. And now …”

“Now there is a mountain to rebuild.” Fíli sighed. “I’m sorry, Kíli. I didn’t see how you felt. I really am sorry.”

“Sorry enough to stop that stupid scheme of marrying me off to a woman who, I assure you, hasn’t got the slightest interest?”

“She hasn’t?”

“That is SO NOT the point, Fíli.”

“It was never my idea to start with. We started this conversation with me saying I do NOT want you to marry her. I just followed amad’s order to give you two alone time,” Fíli defended himself. “She’s nice. And you’re having fun.”

“And she’s very much after Tauriel.”

Fíli choked on his own spit and Kíli had to slap his back a few times before he recovered. “She what?” he rasped.

“Let’s just say she does not go for dwarf men.”

“Right.” Fíli shook himself a little. “So, you want to say you did not flirt with her.”

“Of course I did! We both love flirting! Especially knowing that it’s just being silly and having fun!” Kíli shrugged. “With her it felt safe. You know, once I found out how many dwarves actually want to marry me I had to tone it down before anyone thought they’d had a chance at the only available guy from the royal family. Because Thorin won’t produce any heirs with Bilbo, everyone knows you declared that you are not going to marry, so …”

“You realised that?”

Kíli crossed his arms. “Look, we’re both incredibly dense sometime, but nobody can be that dense. Yes, I noticed that I had suddenly become the hottest dwarf in Erebor. I just thought that you’d know that I am never serious about anyone else.”

“Anyone else than?”

They were halfway to Erebor by now, the torches on top of the gate beckoning. Both of them stared at the restored statues rather than each other.

“Than you, of course,” Kíli finally admitted. “I never needed anyone else, I never wanted to be with someone else. It’s been over 90 years, meeting dwarves from all clans and professions, humans merchants, rangers, barmaids, even elves. We’ve met more people than most dwarves do in their lifetime. But at the end, I always just want to go back to you. I thought you knew.”

“Evidently, I’m really dense.” But not too dense to finally recognise what the hurt in Kíli’s eyes really meant. “And I feel the same. I thought you knew that is why I made that declaration. I did not want to get anyone’s hopes up when the only person I need by my side is you. The thought of someone else coming between us was just impossible.”

Kíli nodded. “See. I thought that was understood without a declaration. Until you started to act strange.”

“I …” Fíli swallowed his words. “There’s no point in arguing. We misunderstood each other for the first time.”

“And the last. Hopefully. I’m glad you don’t want me to marry Nalugwa.” Kíli reached out his hand, and Fíli took.

So what if some dwarves, with excellent night vision, saw them riding holding hands. They were known to be very close and Kíli was known to be very tactile.

~*~

Dis was disappointed of course when Kíli declared, at their family breakfast the next morning, that he would never get married and instead always stay at his brother’s side. But she took it well. As Thorin said, it did not come as a huge surprise that his nephews decided that they were everything the other wanted. It had never been any different.

When Dain and his son Thorin Stonehelm visited for the victory celebration in autumn, the decision of Thorin’s heirs not to marry but to reign together was officially announced. Followed by Fíli’s speech on the importance of Erebor and the Ironhills being united against the future threat looming on the horizon and the added importance of strengthening their ties with the other dwarf clans. Poor Thorin Stonehelm looked rather overwhelmed throughout the evening as everyone was practically throwing themselves at the young dwarf who had just been announced to become the most powerful king the dwarves had had in a while.

When Kíli later went to dance with Nalugwa, and Tauriel, and several other dwarves, humans and elves, Fíli looked on smiling. Because, at the end of the evening, Kíli walked back to their chambers with him. And halfway through the walk, Kíli grabbed his hand. 

Kíli would always be the biggest flirt, but he was also always Fíli’s, and had always been.


End file.
